There is nothing like little rascals to push my buttons and make me feel crazy. So, when I get asked about parental advice or my personal parenting style, I can’t help but laugh.
I had a childhood that was very loving, yet screwed up in many ways. Try growing up in poor communist country with young parents who were barely adults themselves!
Which is maybe why this topic matters to me a great deal. I’ve always felt, even before my kids were conceived, that nothing was going to matter as much to me in this lifetime as raising happy, free, emotionally supported children.
Aligned children – children who are connected to their intuition and inner wisdom and who feel capable of achieving anything they desire in their life.
I’d rather cut my right arm off than continue to follow the patterns of pain that have been passed down in my family for generations. (Yes, I’m dramatic – I’m Russian!)
It was during the 6-day home birth of my twins that I discovered just how powerful a mother’s intuition is. I felt this incredible sense of responsibility to actually see through what it would be like to raise children who remain in touch with their power, divinity and wholeness.
And I knew that it would require me to stay connected to my personal alignment.
In the last 5 years of raising my twin boy and girl, I’ve realized that to parent in an aligned way is not only my greatest desire, but also my greatest opportunity.
Because as one of my grad school teachers said: “Parenting is the hardest spiritual path.”
I thought it may be time to share my principles of Aligned Parenting (this is a term I feel most comfortable with, but some also call this Conscious or Mindful parenting).
Watch the video below for the three keys to raise conscious children and stay sane. Then, please let me know your thoughts in the comments below!
1. It’s All About You, All The Time
So much of our culture wants to focus on the child’s behavior and how we can solve it.
But it’s not about changing your child, it’s about changing yourself.
Because you are at the center of your own universe and every behavior and situation you experience (with your child or anyone else) was co-created by you.
Children are amazing mirrors and can be powerful catalysts for deep personal change within us. Use the parent child relationship to grow as a person and watch your children blossom into their beautiful own individual beings.
2. Triggers Are Good
Recognize that triggers are good and view them as big opportunities.
Acknowledge that your children are going to push your buttons and bring the worst out of you.
If there was no button to push, they couldn’t push it. So they are showing you areas where you are out of alignment or integrity with yourself and your true desires.
Honor the contrast with your children by recognizing each painful experience as a calling to clean up your vibration, perspective and attitude.
Then it will be easy to see the silver lining and gift in every disaster or fight with your kids.
3. Practice Gratitude and Deliberate Positive Focus
We tend to repeat the patterns of how our parents raised us. It’s what we know and how we’ve learned to view the world.
If you want to see something different, you have to do something different.
To have a different relationship with your children, it will be imperative to learn to train your thoughts and beliefs into the ones you prefer, and let go of the ones you grew up with.
Practicing daily gratitude is or doing exercises to strengthen your ability to choose your thoughts and emotions instead of reacting, is one of the most powerful tools for transformation. This applies both in your relationship with yourself and in how you view your children.
In sum, children can lead to your greatest downfalls or your biggest triumphs. Probably both. And that is what makes the child-parent relationship so sacred and miraculous.
Now I would love to hear from you…
- What is the hardest challenge you’ve faced in parenting?
- What does Aligned Parenting mean to you?
- Do you agree or disagree with the principles I’ve outlined and what can you add as a key to a happy & healthy parent-child relationship?
I look forward to an amazing discussion on this topic and to a new generation of parents and children that will be the change the world has been waiting for.